Beautiful Between

living fully in the now & not yet

How to have the Christmas you really want

Everything is shimmering, red and gold. Stores are brimming with baubles that sing of the season, and it’s easy to get caught up in them. Still, the craving for new and pretty makes my heart feel weary and hollow. Is this the source of the Christmas magic? Is this the holiday I want? I want […]

This is what to do when the holidays are painful

It’s okay if you hate the holidays. I won’t tell you otherwise. It’s okay if you’re dreading time with family because of deep wounds or toxic relationships. It’s okay if you can’t bear the thought of not seeing the loved one you lost so recently. Or if your heart breaks as you realize another year […]

How to actually get hope out of the Bible (Ultimate Guilt-Free Guide)

We’re not supposed to have problems with the Bible. We know we’re “supposed” to have this vibrant relationship with Scripture. That it’s supposed to be a lifeline and encouragement. But what about when it’s not? What happens: When your eyes move across the page but you can’t even remember what you read? Or when the […]

This is how to find hope in the Bible when you desperately need it

The room was semi-dark; if I sat at the edge, nobody could really see my face. I liked it that way. In a room full of church leaders and staff, passionately praying for God to move and transform lives, I couldn’t connect with their zeal. I was probably in a season of depression, or lone […]

How to find hope in the darkness of depression

I know it doesn’t feel this way. You might not believe it. But it’s going to get better. It really is. A day will come when you feel joy again. Maybe it will take you by surprise and you’ll wonder at the realization: this wide-open feeling, this laughter inside? That’s happiness. Or maybe it will […]

Discouraged? Ashamed? You need to hear these 5 words

I was twenty and terrified, standing unannounced on their porch on a hot July night. My legs froze and nausea filled me. I felt like every moment was never-ending, like I was eternally dying inside. Before coming, I’d meticulously covered the long gashes on my thighs. I was there to tell the truth, but I […]

This is what you need to know if the darkness never lifts

I sat at a stoplight, trembling with anxiety’s rattle and hum. The sky was bleak with charcoal clouds seemed to mirror my soul. The familiar fog of depression had rolled in and I was weary of the struggle. It was exhausting: wrestling to be whole, never shaking the bone-deep loneliness. The fog formed a dense […]

I love Jesus but I want to die: what you need to know about suicide

I was in California on a business trip, just yards from the beach, eating ice cream and laughing as the conversation drifted away from business. Eventually, somebody mentioned a friend-of-a-friend who had died by suicide. The familiar ache and nausea filled my chest. My insides rattled when my coworker said he didn’t understand what would […]

When hope hurts, here’s what you need to do

I know, it happens every year. I see the photos in my feeds, too: rings and flowers and first looks and all the trappings of idyllic wedding days. I can’t keep track of all the #bestdayever captions, the gorgeous honeymoon photos, or the engagement announcements. As Jessica Faith says, “It can seem like all social […]

After one year, this is why I REALLY love my husband

Micah makes me laugh. He cares for me better than I have ever cared for myself, better than anyone has ever cared for me. He is my complement in so many ways, sturdy and stable in the face of my deeply felt emotions. He is more than everything I’d hoped. There is so much I […]