Beautiful Between

living fully in the now & not yet

This is the question you should be asking this year

woman journaling the question you should be asking

It’s January and, like clockwork, we start looking ahead. The New Year is just an arbitrary marker on the calendar, but it still holds this special power over us.  There are so many ways to change our lives, aren’t there? We can read more, lose weight, start a new hobby, or finally train for that […]

How to have the Christmas you really want

Everything is shimmering, red and gold. Stores are brimming with baubles that sing of the season, and it’s easy to get caught up in them. Still, the craving for new and pretty makes my heart feel weary and hollow. Is this the source of the Christmas magic? Is this the holiday I want? I want […]

This is what to do when the holidays are painful

It’s okay if you hate the holidays. I won’t tell you otherwise. It’s okay if you’re dreading time with family because of deep wounds or toxic relationships. It’s okay if you can’t bear the thought of not seeing the loved one you lost so recently. Or if your heart breaks as you realize another year […]

How to find hope in the darkness of depression

I know it doesn’t feel this way. You might not believe it. But it’s going to get better. It really is. A day will come when you feel joy again. Maybe it will take you by surprise and you’ll wonder at the realization: this wide-open feeling, this laughter inside? That’s happiness. Or maybe it will […]

Discouraged? Ashamed? You need to hear these 5 words

I was twenty and terrified, standing unannounced on their porch on a hot July night. My legs froze and nausea filled me. I felt like every moment was never-ending, like I was eternally dying inside. Before coming, I’d meticulously covered the long gashes on my thighs. I was there to tell the truth, but I […]

I love Jesus but I want to die: what you need to know about suicide

I was in California on a business trip, just yards from the beach, eating ice cream and laughing as the conversation drifted away from business. Eventually, somebody mentioned a friend-of-a-friend who had died by suicide. The familiar ache and nausea filled my chest. My insides rattled when my coworker said he didn’t understand what would […]

When hope hurts, here’s what you need to do

I know, it happens every year. I see the photos in my feeds, too: rings and flowers and first looks and all the trappings of idyllic wedding days. I can’t keep track of all the #bestdayever captions, the gorgeous honeymoon photos, or the engagement announcements. As Jessica Faith says, “It can seem like all social […]

After one year, this is why I REALLY love my husband

Micah makes me laugh. He cares for me better than I have ever cared for myself, better than anyone has ever cared for me. He is my complement in so many ways, sturdy and stable in the face of my deeply felt emotions. He is more than everything I’d hoped. There is so much I […]

You are delightful. But you need to learn to see.

I found joy for the first time 10 years ago in a perfect, Parisian spring.  Paris is every bit as magical as you’ve heard, but perhaps not in all the ways you’d expect. It’s still a filthy, crowded urban area. Traffic is ridiculous and there are homeless people in desperate need of help and racial […]

When you need a reminder your life is here and now

I’m not quite sure how time has slipped by me. It’s been three weeks since I’ve written you; it’s far too long. I knew what I wanted to say in January: we talked about becoming who we want to be and forming the habits that will get us there. Then February came like a whirlwind. […]